Long Overdue Entry (from March 5, 2007)

2006 has been such a changing point in my life, particularly at work. It was a time of decision-making, which consequently, meant ending some friendships and making new ones, giving up some benefits for priorities. It has occurred to me several times how hard it is to actually make people understand the motives for your actions. I learned in the end that it's all a matter of being firm with it, and sticking to it for better or worse.

In 2006, I learned that love sometimes sneaks up on you, unannounced.

I lost my grandfather in 2006. From the moment he passed away, I have had my share of responsibilities, particularly on making our household as functional as possible (with my wily sister and extremely OC grandma in tow). I learned a bit about being responsible, not just for myself, but for other people who depend a great deal on my "good" sense.

I spent 2006 without my mom, who finally decided to work abroad after almost 30 years of serving the government. This experience gave me new-found respect for my mother (although I'm still mustering enough guts to speak that out loud), who lives for her children. My mom is the strongest person I know, and this year, she has proved to be my hero.

I can't even begin to summarize how my life has turned out. So many things have happened. I've made some mistakes and rectified them. I've won the respect of people, and made peace with myself despite my shortcomings. I used to feel as if Life was steering me into its depths without my control, but 2006 changed that. Now I know that at a certain point, I man the helm.

I don't even know what I'm saying these things now. Call it a long-delayed synthesis of the past year. Better late than never! I just realized I had to when I woke up one morning and began to wonder what sort of trajectory has brought me from one situation to another - exactly where I am now. And when I glanced at it in this perspective, it took on a truer form, one with more finality.

Hehe. Should I be afraid? I am. Should I be proud of myself? I am! I don't really know what the next few months - or the new year - has in store for me. I doubt that I will ever be ready for any of them. Like all other 'adults' out there, I'm just clumsily stumbling along. ;)